Tragedy

Chapter 28: Tragedy

        "Do you ever consider that you ask too much?" Severus asked Albus in the Astronomy Tower. "That you take too much for granted? Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore?" He was referring to the promise that he made a long time ago because it was stressful.

        "Whether it has or hasn't isn't relevant," replied Albus. "I'm not negotiating this, Severus. You agreed, nothing more to discuss."

        Severus turned on his heel in an almost pouting way and made his way back to the stairs of the tower. On the stairs, he ran into Harry, who looked surprised like he overheard what they were talking about. He gave Harry an odd long look and rushed down the spiraling stairs of the tower. He knew Harry would hate him even more than he already did later; hell, even Rosie would hate him. The promises to Lily, Draco's protection, and the murder of Albus just felt like a mountain on his shoulders. Now, Rosie would hate his living guts and he'd probably lose her trust and love.

        Why was life so unfair? He couldn't fathom what he'd do if he didn't see little Lily and Rosie's smiling faces. In order to protect Harry, though, he'd have to do this. Even if he wasn't ready, he'd have to make this choice*.

…..

        When Severus entered the private quarters, he collapsed in a chair by the fireplace and he felt his stomach turn. Mentally and emotionally he readied himself for this moment but now he couldn't bear the thought of killing Albus but he knew he'd have to. To Severus's displeasure, he felt his eyes burn with tears and his head beginning to ache. Ugh, he groaned mentally, why am I having a moment of weakness. What a disgrace. He placed his hand over his temples and massaged the bridge of his nose.

        "Severus," he heard Rosie's sweet voice from the doorway, "what a surprise! You never come here this early! Is something wrong?" Her innocent, sweet look almost made him cry.

        "Um," he said before trailing off.

        "What is it?" she asked, sitting on the arm of the chair and looked at him worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

        "Tonight's the night," he whispered, resting his head on her chest. "I can't bear it. Just…hold me please." He closed his eyes and felt Rosie's arms around him. Her steady breaths and heartbeat began to comfort him but he couldn't shake the feeling of dread and sadness. He could already see everyone's tears and anger and he couldn't help but feel so helpless and alone. What gave him comfort, though, was Rosie humming gently as she stoked his hair.

        "Rosie," he said weakly, lifting his eyes up to hers. "Even though I will kill the headmaster, will you stay with me?"

        He dreaded her refusal but she smiled gently and lightly stroked his cheek. "Of course," she whispered. "Always. Until the end." Her green eyes were full of gentleness, genuineness, and love. "I'll never leave you alone. You can count on me…always. I love you, Severus." She held him once more and Severus felt his despair sink away. He could always count on her for comfort and she always gave it to him when he needed it.

        "I love you too," he weakly whispered but it was true to him.

…..

        Later that evening, Severus stood in his office when he saw dark clouds rolling in. He let himself be ensnared by his thoughts and he thought of Rosie, Lily Potter, and his daughter Lily. His mind then moved to Draco, who was going to murder the headmaster, and Harry, who was learning too much of Voldemort. A tear rolled down his cheek when he looked back up at the night light. It had to be done, he said to himself. There was nothing he could do but assist Draco. With his resolution, he turned on his heel and stalked out of his office.

        In the way to the Astronomy Tower, he saw Harry with his wand drawn and pointing it at Draco. Severus pulled his wand out and held a finger to his lips when Harry looked at him with shock. He heard Bellatrix yelling at Draco for him to kill Albus and went up the stairs to interfere.

        "No," said Severus steadily, even though inside he was trembling.

        Draco froze and he stepped aside to look at Severus, who gave him a look before looking at Albus. The headmaster looked so weak and frail that Severus wanted to just kill him to end the man's pain. Both men knew that Harry was watching but they didn't acknowledge his presence. Severus stared at the headmaster and raised his wand.

        "Severus," whispered Albus weakly, "please…"

        Severus knew he meant to kill him now. "Avada Kedavra," said Severus shakily, casting the spell to kill the headmaster.

        Albus fell out of the tower and began dropping a long way. Severus felt his stomach drop but he grabbed Draco by the shoulder and pulled him away. He saw Bellatrix cast the Dark Mark over the castle but took no regard because he had to focus on getting out of the castle with detection. With every step he took, he felt regret because he knew that he would have to kill Albus but he never expected it to be so horrible. The old headmaster treated him with respect and compassion like a son and Severus had to sever that bond in order to fulfill his destiny.

        When they got down to the hall, Bellatrix began to defile the great hall and used magic to shatter the windows. She was absolutely impressed and happy that Albus Dumbledore was dead. Severus and Draco were another story because as much as they were irritated of the old headmaster they felt horrible of being involved in his death after the old man treated them with such respect. Severus paid no heed to Bellatrix's happy laughter but Rosie's despaired cries from the grounds.

        Just as he predicted, Rosie was standing on the grounds, crouched over Albus's lifeless body, sobbing her eyes out. Every cry she sobbed made Severus feel a sharp, sickening feel in his gut. She finally fell over Albus and sobbed on his chest. Severus wanted to cry too but he composed himself. No tears, he thought. Not yet. He wanted so badly to comfort his wife and Minerva but there was still a job needed to be done.

        Severus stunned Filius and he and his troupe headed down the forest to Hargid's hut. Bellatrix began calling out to Hagrid in a mocking, childish way but that's not what surprised Severus. Harry came to a stop in front of the hut, calling out to Severus hatefully. Severus and Draco looked back and saw Harry rushing towards them with a hateful look in his green eyes.

        "Snape!" shouted Harry. "He trusted you!!"

        The sound of flames crackling made Severus and Draco look back and they saw Bellatrix laughing gleefully and hopping like a child.  "Run!" he shouted to Draco, who took off with Bellatrix.

        Harry came charging up with his wand out, trembling with anger and sadness. "Incarcerous!" he shouted, casting the spell at Severus, who lazily deflected it. "Fight back! Fight back, you coward!" Sparks came from Harry's eyes as he charged at Severus even more.

        Bellatrix cast Crucio at him and Harry got knocked off his feet. She began cackling gleefully as she kept the spell on the boy. Severus saw the boy's body shaking with pain but he didn't say a thing.

        "He belongs to the Dark Lord," said Severus to Bellatrix, who sighed, let the spell off, and ran off down the hill. Severus stared at Harry shortly and turned his heel to walk off but Harry got back up.

        "Sectumsempra!" Harry shouted, but Severus deflected the spell and knocked Harry back.

        "You dare use my spells against me, Potter?" he asked softly, standing over the boy. "Yes, I am the Half-Blood Prince." He ignored Harry's stare of disbelief and betrayal and set off to find the other Death Eaters.

…..

        The whole school gathered by Albus's body and began shedding tears of sadness and disbelief. Harry was surprised to see Snape's wife and his aunt, Rosie, collapsed over Albus's and sobbing like her heart broke. Minerva sat next to her and held the woman to her heart, her own tears mingling with Rosie's. Harry felt nothing but burning pain and anger as he fell to his knees and began sobbing over Albus's body. He took the Horcrux out of the man's hands and squeezed it like he wanted to break it. Ginny came over and held Harry to her chest, letting her tears fall.

        Finally Minerva stood up and held her wand up in the air to clear the Dark Mark and a sign of respect. Many began to follow her lead, including Rosie, who cried like her heart was in two. All Harry could think was, Why? Why did Aunt Rosie's husband kill Dumbledore? Harry just ignored the questions he felt bubbling up and let himself be held by Ginny.

        This would be the most remembered day, he was sure.

        *The line I used at the beginning was what Xion said in KH Days.
       
        The haze beyond your eyes clouds my sight
Are there feelings lying at the bottom of your heart?

Even if the whole world was yours
Would that that bring you happiness?

Why do you up at the lonesome sky?
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like
How you aren't good at putting things into words, so why not...

What happened in days long past?
In your eyes, as turn your gaze away from me

Do you know of such a warmth
One that can embrace you on those lonely nights by yourself?

Why are you so worked up on appearances?
Why, open up your heart
I know you've had a heavy cross to bear
But I've got the strength to accept you
So why not try believing in me

The free are awkward...
The free are anxious...

Why do you look up at the lonesome sky?
Why, let's see you smile
I know what you're like
How you aren't good at putting thing into words
So why not try believing in me

        A/N: Sorry if it was crappy but it hurt to write this scene. *sob* Rest in Peace, Albus Dumbledore. Anyway, read and review. The song I used at the end is the translated lyrics of the song Why. I felt it was perfect for the moment. 

       

        I will make a better list after I finish the story but that's all I have right now. Read and Review :)

Fears and Births

Chapter 23: Fear and Births

Severus staggered to the private quarters to check on Rosie. He prayed that she was safe in bed sleeping without a worry. His staggering turned into a run and he bolted to his room. He didn't want to talk to Dumbledore or anyone. Upon reaching his room, he found Rosie sleeping peacefully and he sank to his knees. Rosie was still safe and in peace. Her gentle hand rested on her stomach and she had a soft smile on her face. He went to her bedside and rested his hand on her cheek, thanking any god of any religion that she was safe. Softly, he rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes like he was trying to get telepathy with her.

Her fingers caressed his cheek and he knew she was awake. When he pulled back to look at her, she had a warm smile on her face and her eyes were full of warmth and love. He bent in again and gave her a kiss. At that he rested both hands on either side of her face and pulled her closer for the kiss. Her gentle hands rested on his waist and she pulled into the bed with astounding strength. Severus was slightly surprised that a woman in her condition had that much strength to pull him down in bed.

Recovering from the slight shock of being pulled down, Severus began gently caressing her soft cheek. He loved to feel her soft skin and to know that she was his. A hand gingerly, tenderly, rested on her stomach and felt a kick on his palm. The baby was living in the moment too. It had a sharp kick too, noted Severus. Definitely a girl.

"Do you know the gender of Junior here?" he asked finally, gesturing to her stomach.

"It's a girl, Sev," she said with a smile. "Poppy came by this morning and you should have seen how she went off at me when I was cleaning. 'Rosie, get back to bed. You need bed rest. Rosie, no watering the plants.' And yadda, yadda, yadda. I swear, that woman lives to nag someone, even if she's being reasonable."

"I may have told her to pay you extra close attention," said Severus, a teasing glow in his eyes.

"Severus, you are horrible," said Rosie, beginning to laugh as she half-heartedly hit his arm. "Thanks to you, the woman won't leave me alone for five minutes. I can't even shower without her standing in the bathroom rambling about how most professors should go home on the pregnancy leave. I told her Hogwarts was my home with all the people I love—you and Harry in particular."

Severus lay down beside her and wrapped her in an embrace. "Do you feel anything like a contraction or something?" he asked, concerned for her well-being.

"Poppy told me that they baby might come any day now," replied Rosie softly. "I just hope not too soon because I have some things to be done."

"Name it," said Severus. "I'll do them for you."

"I'm worried about Draco and Harry. Draco has been looking rather ill and tired all year and Harry has been looking a bit peaky. I don't know if he's having dreams again or something else maybe. Can you watch over them carefully to see how their behavior outside class? It's nearly my time and I get really watch them secretly because of the big stomach and I can't run like I used to."

"Worry not," said Severus gently, "I'll keep an eye on them."

"Try to be nice to Harry, though," said Rosie, arching an eyebrow.

"I'll try," said Severus, "but no promises."

She laughed and she rolled into a comfortable position to sleep.

…

Severus watched Rosie sleep with tears stinging in his eyes. Most of them were of thankfulness and happiness that she was still alive. He now cherished the thought of being beside her through thick and thin. His fingers gently trailed down her face and he saw how peaceful she looked. She was the proof of peace, to him, and of light and love. She made him forget of all the wrongs he did in the past and he loved her for it. The only thing that wouldn't erase, though, was the God-awful Dark Mark that was carved in his wrist. That ugly mark gave anything away and it made him regret what he had done to poor, innocent people. He killed people. He hurt people. And worst of all, he couldn't express how he felt about it because he wasn't sure of talking about it.

Rosie made an unintelligible sound and resumed sleeping peacefully. Severus finally closed his eyes and nestled up next to her. The only thing that feared him the most now was the Dark Lord's intelligence on her and the baby. He couldn't bring himself to tell her because it would scare her to death. Before thinking another thought, Severus drifted off to sleep.

…

An awful gasping sound roused Severus and he awoke at once. He saw Rosie gasping and twitching like she was in pain. It wasn't until then he noticed that the bed was wet. Oh, shit, cursed Severus mentally, but he managed to look calm for Rosie's sake. "Rosie, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"My water broke," she gasped. "Could you hurry for Minerva and Poppy please?"

Severus stood at once, wrapping his robe around him. "Do you need anything else?" he asked. "Like a blanket or a washcloth for your brow?"

"No," she gasped painfully. "Just hurry up. I feel another contraction."

Severus ran out of the room to find Poppy first and to tell her of what was going on. Knowing her, she would be in the Hospital Wing. He ran up flights of stairs and got to the infirmary doors. He flung them open and charged in to see Poppy rushing out in her night clothes. She looked rather surprised and anxious to see him there.

"Whatever is the matter, Severus?" she asked.

"Rosie needs you," he answered. "Her water broke."

Poppy said an unladylike word and ran to grab her kit. "Do you want me to Floo Minerva?"

"I was going to run to get her, but that would help." Severus's mind began to wander to Rosie and her condition.

"Minerva, a word," said Poppy, throwing a handful of Floo powder at the fireplace.

Minerva and Albus came out looking quite bewildered. "Whatever is the problem, Severus?" asked Minerva.

"Rosie's water broke," said Severus frantically. "She requested you two to be there. The baby's coming. There's not time to lose."

All the three older professors ran faster than Severus thought possible and they accompanied him down to where his and Rosie's quarters were. The four woke paintings and attracted ghosts' attention with all the noise they were making but they didn't care. All that mattered was the safety of Rosie and the baby. Upon arriving, they saw Rosie in bed being as calm as she could be. Poppy and Minerva went straight to work.

Minerva rested her hand on Rosie's forehead comfortingly and stood at her side. "We're here, dear," said Minerva in the most tender tone Severus has never heard. "Easy, Rosie. Poppy, let's go."

Poppy stood and went to where Rosie's spread legs were. "Alright, lovely, start taking big pushes, okay?"

Rosie nodded and began to push with all her might. She began crying and groaning in pain. The grip she had on Severus's hand almost made his hand turn blue. He saw her crying and sweating and he had never been so proud of her in his life. She was trying so hard to get the baby out. He took a washcloth from a smiling Albus and rested it on her forehead. He bent forward and began whispering reassurances to her.

"This is the big one, Rosie," said Poppy after all the blood, sweat, and tears. "I see the baby's head. Come on, girl."

Rosie gave a big push and finally the baby came out. Severus thought she resembled a little alien but much more beautiful. Little mews began to escape from the little baby and she began crying. Tears of joy began to course down Severus's face at the sight of his new baby. She looked just as beautiful as her mother. Rosie looked happy if not rather tired from all the pushing and work. He took her hand and smiled at her. She gave him a weary smile and he pressed a gentle kiss to her sweaty brow.

After the baby got clean, she was placed in Rosie's arms. The little pink blanket had her bundled up. Just as Severus expected, she had big green eyes like her mother and dark hair like her father. He had never felt as happy as he did right now. There were no words to describe his happiness.

"Thank you," said Severus to Poppy, Albus, and Minerva.

"You are very welcome, dear boy," they all said at once.

"Do you have any names for her yet?" asked Minerva, gazing at Rosie and the baby tenderly.

Rosie nodded. "Yes," she said. "Lily Minerva Snape. Minerva, you proved to us that you're the best and you're as good as it's gonna get." A sleepy smile spread on Rosie's face.

A tear found its way on Minerva's cheek as she went to embrace the new mother and baby. "Thank you, dear."

After a while, the three finally left and Severus sat next to his wife in an armchair. He held the baby in his arms and kissed her sweet face gently. Rosie smiled before going to sleep. Severus knew she was spent because she nursed the baby and had her. Lily fell asleep in his arms and he held her gently. If he could produce the world's biggest Patronus, this was the moment he would.

A/N: Read and Review! The next chapter is when things start to get heavy with the dark arts and crap. Be prepared for angst!

Chapter 19: Secrets and Lies
Severus was quite drained from making the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa about the plan of killing Dumbledore. He didn't even tell Rosie about it but he knew she thought he was lying about his mission. A stab of guilt pierced his gut about his secret that he kept from her. Then he thought maybe keeping the secret he kept from her would keep her safe. If she was in on it, it would bring danger along. He couldn't bear letting anything happen to her; it would literally kill him internally.
He apparated back to his study and saw Rosie sitting at the desk, brushing her hair. She looked a little distracted like she wasn't paying attention to her hair. Her pretty emerald eyes looked far away and were full of tears. For what, though? Tears of pain, of fear, of joy? What?
To answer his questions, he went up to her, lifted her up in his arms, and then placed her in his lap when he sat down. She rested her tired head on his chest and began crying some more. He rested his hands on her back and began caressing her back. He held her tenderly and tightly so she'd feel comfort in his embrace.
"Rosie, love," he said in a soft tone that he only used on her, "what's wrong?"
"Severus," she whimpered, "I'm sorry, but…I-I-I'm pregnant; you're the father of course." She winced like she was expecting him to hit her.
He let it sink in that he would become a father soon and then looked at his sobbing wife. Gently he rested a hand on her back and felt his heart soar. "I'm going to be a father," he said full of pride. "A father. When did you find out?"
"I-I missed a period a-and I began suffering morning sickness. Poppy did a check-up on me and I became pregnant. Are you mad?" She ducked her head.
Severus, too overwhelmed to speak, lifted her face up and kissed her lips soundly. His arms wrapped her waist gingerly and he held her tightly. Her trembling stopped and she relaxed into the kiss. Their lips moved across each other and stayed soft and passionate. Her shaking hands moved to his shoulders and she pressed herself up against him. Their breath came out jagged and rough and they eyed each other with intensity. No words needed to be spoken as they embraced each other.
"Don't worry," said Severus. "Together we will be a family. Do you know the gender?"
"No," she said, starting to smile the first time that morning. "If it's a girl, I'll name her Lily and if he's a boy, I'll name him Severus." Her smile finally spread.
Severus pressed his forehead to hers and they gazed into each other's eyes. So many thoughts and emotions went through their minds and eyes. This was an intimate way they could talk without people knowing. Severus realized these kinds of moments were the ones he would remember forever even after death. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he would have to die to keep Lily Potter's son safe and maybe that was for the best because she would have a hysteric attack. Right now, this was their moment of eternity and love.
….
The next morning, Rosie awoke with Severus gone and her mind flew to the time. Summoning her clock over, she checked the time and it was thirty minutes to noon. Rosie shot up and pulled her night robe on, thanking God it was still the summer vacation. She touched her stomach and still couldn't believe something was growing in there. Rosie looked out the window to the sky wondering if it would be a boy or a girl.
Rosie brushed the hair out of her face and placed her glasses on. The world looked clearer with them on and but the thing that was the most clearest thing to her, with or without them, was her love for Severus. He was acting a little strange by distancing himself. Was he angry at her, or something? Not getting an answer, Rosie shrugged and headed to the shower. Maybe after the shower she could head for the Grand Hall for some food.
Rosie stepped in the shower and let the warm water run on her body. She closed her eyes as she let the steam soothe the cramps in her stomach and back. When her hair was wet enough, she began lathering shampoo in it. The scent of her shampoo always comforted her and had her headaches go away. Her thoughts flew to Severus and thought of how he was acting recently. Maybe she could get through to him somehow.
After rinsing the shampoo out of her hair, she smoothed conditioner through. The sweet odor was innocent and flowery. These soaps were Severus's favorite and he often told her he loved the scent of her hair and that it was his drug. Feeling a smile on her face, Rosie rinsed the conditioner out and turned the water off. She stepped out into the cold room and bundled a towel around her. After getting the towel around her, Rosie walked into hers and Severus's quarters and dried herself off.
Just as she placed the towel down, Severus walked in and sat down on the bed, stressfully running his fingers through his hair. Rosie eyed her husband at this uncharacteristic act of stress and rested a hand on his shoulders. He turned to look at her and sighed irritably. She chuckled, wondering if Harry corresponded with Severus saying how much he hated him.
"What's up, dear?" she asked.
"I'll tell you," he said, "when you get dressed." His eyes trailed down to her chest and he flushed.
Rosie looked down and made a dash to get dressed in some simple robes. She styled her hair into a bun and sat down next to Severus so their bodies were up against each other. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes peacefully. His cologne really smelled nice to her. Severus began massaging her shoulders to ease the tension in the pregnant woman's body.
"Now will you tell what's on your mind?" she asked, eyes still closed.
"Dumbledore has given me a mission," he said softly. "He wants me to…kill him."
Rosie's eyes flew open and she turned to look at him. "What?" she demanded sharply. "What did you say to that? What about Minerva?"
"I wanted to say no," he said regretfully, "but he didn't accept it. As for Minerva, he wants us to take care of her. She has this power engraved in her soul to help her beloved. Barmy old codger…" Severus trailed off, refusing to go into detail.
"Severus, what's really wrong?" asked Rosie, seriously eying her husband. "Tell me."
In a torrent of words, Severus poured out the truth of his past and everything that happened in his Death Eater past and promise to Lily. Rosie listened with tears in her eyes and couldn't say a thing. Words failed her because of how shocked she was. Poor Severus didn't even break down once but tears pooled his dark eyes. Instinctively, Rosie drew him to her heart and held him there once he was done. She kissed his head and rocked him comfortingly. He loved resting on her chest because of how soft it was. Severus refused to let the tears fall but he let himself be comforted by Rosie's presence and love.
"I'm sorry…" she said tearfully. "I'm so sorry! What else can I say, dear?"
"It doesn't matter," said Severus, lifting himself up to face her with finality. "I love you." He caressed her cheek with his hand gently.
"I love you too." She gave him a kiss and they sat there holding each other until they fell asleep. Rosie knew that the shadows hung thick over Severus's heart but she would always be there for him and to hold him whenever he needed it. That's what love was.